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Being Alone

The holidays, we are told, are times for family. It is a time for family and friends to come together and share of themselves. It is a time where we can renew our connections with others.

It is a predominate theory that the reason human beings have large brains—brains that use about 20% of our energy output—is because we are hyper-social creatures. We do not have claws, fur, and animal strength: what we have is our communal power.

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Emotions and Dharma

When we develop our Buddhist practice, we develop the habits of loving kindness to replace greed, we develop compassion to replace hatred, and we develop equanimity to replace delusion. We embrace the emotional aspects of who we are, but recognize that emotions are conditioned responses are what we must focus on for change. Nothing is miserable unless we think it is so.

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Suffering, Divorce and Buddhism

We cannot be perfect Buddhists every moment of every day. Especially during the challenges of divorce, but we can start orienting ourselves to see the benefits of accepting life as it comes and dealing with it positively.

THINGS YOU CAN DO TO FIND SOME HAPPINESS DURING A DIVORCE

1) Meditate— Sitting quietly for 30 minutes a day, over a two week period, has proven to reduce stress, reduce anxiety, and create inner calm, lower blood pressure and blood sugar.

2) Giving—Taking time to donate your time and effort to others develops compassion and forgiveness. It is also a good safe way to start new social networks outside of the previous marriage

3) Listening—everyone tells you that you should “talk it out.” Unfortunately, we do not reflect when we talk. Talking is good for venting, but listening is good for comprehension and insight. Find someone who wants to talk and listen to them without interjection or turning the conversation back to you. Soon you will start understanding a lot more about yourself.

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Instinct is one reason why realtionships fail

There is a serious perception problem that good relationships are ones that never disagree, argue or fight. It is impossible for two people to cohabitate for any length of time in perfect harmony. Recognizing disagreement and stress then actively engaging together to work through those issues is the best way to resolve serious problems later on.

It may often seem the wrong choice to confront your significant other when you are feeling that there is a problem, but it is almost always the best direction for resolution. And if you are afraid that the resolution will end in your significant other leaving, that needs to be addressed as well. Otherwise, the misery that comes from being afraid your relationship will end will be the single largest contributor ensuring that it does.

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Happiness is Mind-made

We all experience moments of grief, loss, and regret. It is natural. What is important is that we do not continue to let it fester, like a man who continually pulls at the stitch of a mended wound.

Life is impermanent, and we should embrace the fact that our lives are limited making each moment we have in the world extremely precious. So we must refocus our energy to using our time wisely and putting value where it is most useful to our real happiness.

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Buddhism and Putting an Animal To Sleep

What most people fail to note is that there are always two sides to the precepts, just as there are two sides to a blade. As we take on the precept and affirmation to do no harm or killing— we often forget that it is also a precept to develop compassion.

So when making a decision of such importance ask which decision is the most compassionate. When putting the animal to sleep– what is your motivation? Convenience or compassion? Meditate on the decision and be honest within your heart: you will know the answer.

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Hatred is Never Appeased By Hatred

Indulging in unwholesome energy only creates the appetite for more negativity. An aware mind stays focused on embracing positive energy and putting value on deep happiness instead of instant negative gratification.

This is one of the benefits of meditation, is to build an awareness of what is happening around us, and what is being created within and projected out into the world as real. The more we practice this mindfulness, the better we are at becoming better navigators through life: avoiding the tidal currents that urge us into so many unwholesome situations.

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Quarrels Destroy Happiness

The Calm

Be mindful when the feelings arise where our feet plan firmly in the ground and our minds harden to defend a viewpoint. These are potential signs that the usually mean that we close our minds and hearts to what is really of value.

Our lives are finite and temporary, embrace the time that we have and engage with life fully as if time were limited—because it is.

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Is It Wrong To Have Goals In Buddhism?

Hi VagabondSumitta,

Good afternoon. I have admired your posts for some time. 🙂

I’d like to ask you a question regarding Buddhism. Is it wrong or “unskillful” to practice Buddhism and have goals? Is it an unskillful mentality to work towards a goal? Or, maybe it is OK if you are unattached to the result?

I am going through some changes in my life and would like to know if it is “un-Buddhist” to start being more goal-directed.

Thank you for your time and your posts.

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